Question: How do you do everything?
Answer: I don’t.
….okay, blog over. Thanks for coming!
Just kidding y’all, I’ll fill you in on my (secrets). Or lack of secrets to be honest. I know mothers have it tough, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a stay at home mom, work at home mom, work away from home mom…or any combination. Motherhood is hard! But it is also incredibly rewarding. Unfortunately it is very defeating at times and social media is largely to blame. I know everyone sees Pinterest and Instagram and whatever else there is where moms look so put together, perpetually happy, with spotless houses, and gourmet dinners served on handmade ceramic plates. But I hate to break it to you, those pictures take a moment to snap and even less time to edit. I’m not saying they’re fake…but they don’t show the whole picture. Let me elaborate.
Check this picture out…
Isn’t it pretty? And clean? And look at those sparkly fairy lights! It’s so festive and inspiring….but this was taken after we wrapped up our school day, the kids were asleep and I already picked up. Now look at the next photo…
Yep, same area…just taken during a very average day with three little ones trying to function. It’s a mess and you can’t even see the sand spilled on the floor or the lunch crumbs. This is normal, and there is nothing wrong with having days where your house looks like this. Just because you see the first picture on Instagram, doesn’t mean that the second photo doesn’t exist.
The point is, I don’t do it all…I just keep going. The house gets messy, the laundry doesn’t get folded, there’s a screaming naked child running through the house. Sh*t happens…but I don’t give up and give in. I grab a cup of coffee, a peanut butter cup, and start Rosie (the Roomba) while I begin to tidy up. I am consistent and I’ve set up solid routines that don’t allow me to get overwhelmed. But when those times of dread hit, I think of my two favorite phrases;
“Start where you are”
“Progress is progress, no matter how small.”
Saying these things to myself helps a great deal in working through a seemingly endless task, and frankly those tasks are usually done in about thirty minutes or less. For someone just starting out with setting up a routine, I highly suggest reading up on The Flylady. That is where I got my start, and from her words of wisdom I was able to set up a system that works for our own family. I’ll pop some examples of our own routines at the end of this post if you’re in need of a printable to get you started.
Now, a routine isn’t a cure all or a guarantee of a perfectly Pinterest worthy house….but It is a cure for mom guilt, stress, and frustration. It is a way to keep your sanity, to be thankful for what you have, and appreciate those moments that caused a ‘messy house’. Those toys were from a fun play date, the crayon marks on the floor are from a toddler’s attempt at a self portrait, the spilled milk is a baby learning to eat on his own….there are many people who would love to have a ‘messy house’ from time to time.
I know that sometimes it is hard to see past the perfect picture on your news feed, but remember that it is only a fleeting moment and a tiny snapshot of a much larger picture that we cannot see. I guess the whole point of this post is to let anyone who has mom-guilt to know that it’s okay and you’re not alone. We all have those moments…even those of us that seem “perfect” and can “do it all”. If you’re truly overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, a routine will help you break out of a depression rut, and never be afraid to ask for help. It really takes a village, and nobody has to be alone.
So there it is….the secret is I don’t do it all…..hell some days I can barely get the laundry taken care of. But I just keep plucking away and enjoy the little moments as much as possible. Frankly I’ve never met a mom that can do it all, we just do the best we can and that’s all we really need to do.